All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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