i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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