The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
