Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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