So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
