dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
