Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
