is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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