you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i need some magic done to my vagina
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
