I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Are we still banned from the library?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize