How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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