She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i think my cat just said my name.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
