There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He felt like a one man threesome
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
