I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
