I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
