so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need water and some morals
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
