Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pants are for mortals
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
