i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
