I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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