A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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