my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Enjoy the penises
Drunk is not a location!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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