im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
