I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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