I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize