she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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