So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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