She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
