There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
