Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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