so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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