There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
