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So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
