So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
