my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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