Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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