just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
