Fine. I'll sleep in my office
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
