dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
