so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
