So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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