hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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