Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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