due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize