I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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