i'm signing you up for texting rehab
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
