I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
