I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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