I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize