But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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