the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
