Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
