Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
