you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
