actually, I'm a sock model
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
