I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
