We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
