Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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