names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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