So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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