: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
