she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
