last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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