scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
