If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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