Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
