Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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