I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You are the jesus of drinking
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
