it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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