I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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